
oh no
he thinks it’s his to raise
what will i do
mother knows the truth
saying i had to deal with it
but it is meant to be
and i’m only settling in on sixteen
and have yet to gadabout the world and fall in love
beyond our bucolic backyard with apple trees
and a worn out tire swing hidden beyond a hill
the faded roses trampled now under grass
by an old grey dog biting at the thorns left over from his romp
I yearn to see more life than just within these four walls
rendering more or less sorrow from dazed wine and cheese gatherings
Hung along the banisters like wilting grapes in early winter
wallpaper walls softly fade waiting for repair and a stroke of fresh paint
like the old carriage out on the neighbor’s lawn along the way i yearn for more
how will i let daddy know that this growing being within my walls carrying high
will not just fade nor go away
it will bloom soon manifesting steady true as the rising sun
i just hope he understands
that what happened that one night beyond his watchful eye
and saltpeter filled bebe gun denied
my clandestine lover slipped in one night
in through the window battenburg curtains billowed and adjusted
then his slipping under covers speaking in whispers
Recapitulation rendering seed into blossom
this girl emerging into woman wise far beyond her years
now climbing the rungs to heaven holding soon my own bundle of joy
he will teach my young as my youth slips away how to build another swing
out of another old tire and spin her around until she is dizzy with giggles
and flushed smooth cheeks as her emerald eyes twinkle in sunlight
i hope he finds with this child of mine his second youth
bathing in glorious laughter, love and light watching his kindred spirit grow
i may soon bring a little girl into the world but he will never lose his in me
i hope he knows that there will never be another love quite like him,
he will always and in all ways be the very first apple of my eye
only now soon, as I witness, he will have another one to cherish
well attended another apple of his eye